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Making 2013 Different: Letting Go of Fear

14 Jan

Happy 2013, world! Yes, I know I’m a little behind the times, but at least it’s still January :)

Goodness, it’s been such a long time from writing, so let’s just jump right in! Although I apologize for my long absence, I can make no promises that I will update extremely frequently. Let’s face it, I’ve said it before and look how far we’ve come…or haven’t. How often do we make “promises” to ourselves or to others that we will definitely do something, but then don’t? We see someone from our past and put on a show that we’ll “call soon,”  or that “we’ll make plans” but then forget all about our encounter by the end of the day. Or we say we’re going to try something new, try to change, try to do something different,  but then something distracts us or we get discouraged and we just stop. I think we all have a tendency to do these sorts of things, don’t you?

So then the question becomes, why?

If you ask me (or Meredith Grey), I’d say a lot of it has to do with fear.

I know this is going to come as a surprise to many of you (sarcasm!), but I’m a shy person (mostly). Although I can be extremely outgoing, it takes me awhile to get to that point. Granted, I love people. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be in clinical psychology. But, I’m shy (or inhibited if you want to get clinically technical ;) Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m painstakingly shy. It would be way too hard to do some of the things I have to do if that were the case. But, nonetheless, this is what it is. In my past, I think there may have been times when I let my shyness get the best of me. I would pass up opportunities (concerning guys/opportunities at school/etc.) because I was afraid of…something. Now, I don’t think this is completely related to my being shy. Lots of people have fears of “something” who are extremely outgoing and far from being shy. But, what is this elusive “something” that I feared (and that I’m guessing many of you fear)? Fear of looking foolish or realizing that your expectations were much different than what actually was? Fear of the possibilities, being embarrassed, or being rejected?

I don’t know that there’s a hard and fast answer to this question…unfortunately. Maybe it differs from person to person, or from situation to situation. Maybe it’s something that we won’t ever be able to fully identify.

So, here’s the thing. At the beginning of this year, my friends from high school and I discussed what our new years resolutions were. Now, that’s a painstaking process. Because it’s easy to forget to follow New Years Resolutions, there were years when I figured, why bother? Why bother saying “This year will be different. This year, I will do x, y, and z,” when it was more often the case that my resolutions often didn’t last past January?

Well, this year I became inspired. This year, I decided things will be different. As I got the text from my friends about my resolutions, I  had to think about it for awhile. In May, I graduate with my master’s degree. In August, I hope to be starting a PhD program. A lot of things will be changing. I’ll be 24 this year and if I don’t get into a PhD program, I’ll be starting my real grown-up life (scary!) after graduation. I know 23 and 24 are young. People tell me that all the time. But, I feel like I’m at a point where I need to start thinking about my future and my career and being with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and starting a family and all the craziness that goes along with that.

So you’re thinking, okay Jeannette get to the point. What does this have to do with your resolutions? Well, my faithful readers, I’ll tell you. It has everything to do with them.  After some thought, I responded to my friends the following: “Let go of my inhibition and don’t let it get in the way of accomplishing greatness!” Okay…so the last bit about greatness may have been a little bit dramatic, but you should get the point.

So often, we let this something, this fear, get in the way.

It doesn’t matter what it gets in the way of; it’s enough that our fears prevent us from taking action.

From speaking up about your ideas and values.

From telling someone how we feel about them and asking them out for coffee.

The point is, our fears (this “something”) can prevent us from, well…accomplishing greatness. Think about it for one second; if you let your fears rule your life, maybe you could be missing out on potentially finding your ideal job (because you’re too afraid to apply for the job), or from starting a relationship with someone who could become your potential spouse (because you’re too afraid of the rejection you may face by asking them out).

I guess the whole point of this is to not let your fears (whatever they may be) control your life. Don’t let them prevent you from taking action (whatever that may mean).

I can’t say for certain how the rest of the year will go, but for now, I’ve already started to make this year different. 

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Love, happiness, marriage…AKA…Am I really that old?!

3 Sep

I admit it.

I’m a romantic at heart.

I love love.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of what my perfect wedding would look like.

I imagined the dress (strapless, or with cap sleeves; ball gown; veil; white), the shoes (low heels, same color as my dress or matching the bridesmaid dresses), the bridal party (a compilation of family and friends from different parts of my fiance and I’s lives). I could see my parents walking me down the aisle. I could hear a close friend or family member performing the readings on the altar (with this being one of them).

And, I could even taste the plethora of cookies that would undoubtedly be making a statement at the reception. Mmm.

But not just yet…right? I mean, I’m only 23. I’m a little too young for that. I have enough trouble keeping track of myself, how could I be expected to keep track of someone else?!

And yet, within the past few months, a lot of people I’ve known have gotten engaged. In fact, two of my close friends are in the process of planning each of their weddings!

It’s a wonderful time. A happy time. And a…

FRIGHTENING TIME!

Despite all the excitement over a friend’s engagement, it quickly brings up thoughts about my own relationship status.

Me? Single (and searching).

My initial thought on hearing of someone’s engagement is something along the lines of, “YAY!!!! I’m SO excited and happy for you!” While my internal thought process goes something like this, “Seriously, another one?!? Are we really that old? Is that what I should be doing now? I guess I’m just going to become a cat lady for the rest of my life!”

It’s amazing to think how things related to marriage have changed over the years. For example, in 1980 the median age of men at first marriage was 24.7 and the median age of women was 22.0. In 2010, the median age of men increased to 28.7 and for women it was 26.7. (Good news-I’m only 23, so I still have some time!)

The point is, when I see my friends getting engaged, it scares me. I think about how I’m only 23 and still have to finish my master’s degree. And then I remember, I’m probably going to spend another 4-6 years obtaining my PhD. Which means I’ll be pushing 30 by the time I finish school (eek!) and get a job. Then hopefully (assuming someone will put up with my shenanigans) I will get married and start having kids (immediately…before I’m 40)!

Has anyone else ever had this feeling? Maybe not about the marriage thing, but just about getting older? Where you or your peers begin to do things that you think should be done by someone older? The thought I have is, “Wow. We’ve reached the age where this is what happens and is the expectation.”

When I was younger (i.e., high school and younger), I used to think that people in their 20s were mature and would be ready to take on grownup experiences (take that as you will). Now that I am that age, I think about how wrong I was. Although many of my peers may be ready for these things, I’m not…or am I? I don’t feel old…but does doing any of these things mean I have to be old? I only feel 23 (whatever that means).

It’s like all of a sudden, it hits you.

You. Are. A. Grown-Up.

You are ready to open the doors to so many opportunities that you never had access to before. You may not have the opportunity just yet, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not ready.

So, what’s the point of this ramble? Well, here’s one:

And, holy cow! I better get a move on =)

Just kidding. In reality, know that you can do your own thing. Weddings bring weddings, but they have to be for the right reason. There is no rush. There is no hurry.

…(but if you happen to know someone, feel free to send him my way ;)

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“Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter.”

5 Jun

For awhile, I’ve been wanting to share a story with all of you, but I just didn’t know how. Many of you may have heard this before, but even so, it always makes me feel a little better. So, here it is.  

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A Jar of Mayo and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions–and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else–the small stuff. “If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your  spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first–the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

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Have I really not posted in over a month?

That’s embarrassing and unacceptable, but I promise I haven’t just been sitting around twiddling my thumbs.

I wanted to share this story for awhile, but I also couldn’t decide if I wanted to add my two cents to the story. What could I see that hadn’t already been said, and  how could I say eloquently?

I don’t know if I’ve figured out the eloquent part, but I do have things to say.

I think it’s really easy to get caught up in the superficial things in our life-’what am I going to do on my day off? ”I wish I could buy concerts tickets’.’ How should I get my hair done for the summer?’ You may laugh, but it’s probably because you’ve had some of these very same thoughts. When you think about it, we waste an incredible amount of our time worrying about the sand-the trivial things.

We worry about our job, our education, our homes. But even without these things, we would still be fine if we knew we still had our family, friends, passions, and health.

On March 2nd, our 8-year old golden retriever, Minnie Mouse, passed away. It was completely unexpected and we had next to no time to say good-bye. I was devastated. I cried, I sulked, I wallowed. I think it’s a natural response when you love someone (yes, I know she wasn’t a human) you love. Within a month, we’d gotten another golden retriever in our home-Luna Love-of-my-life-Good.

Going away to grad school, I feel like I’ve missed a lot. I knew I’d miss out on the last few years of our dogs’  lives, but I never expected it would come so soon. Now that we’ve lost one dog, and have gotten another, I feel like I’m sometimes missing out on our new puppy growing up.

If you haven’t guessed this already, I’m a worrier. I’m also very driven and perfectionistic in many aspects of my life. I want to do and get what’s best for me. I want to embrace every opportunity in my path, which often means I worry about the little things. I concern myself with the sand, when I should be worried about the golf balls.

When I found out about our dog, I was still at school. I had a class that evening and I actually contemplated staying for class because I couldn’t miss class in graduate school.  And that’s when it hit me-what’s one class going to matter in the scheme of things, when I could be home saying goodbye and being with my family?

So, I went home.

I forgot about the sand.

I took care of the golf balls first.

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Channeling Stress Into Something Worth Sharing

27 Apr

It’s 6:58 a.m. on a Friday morning. The one day of the week that I don’t have to be up early to go to classes or be productive early in the morning. Why so Jeannette, you may ask?

It’s the last week of the semester. Finals weeks is right around the corner. Who could sleep knowing how much has to get done in the next few days? Oh, and my kitten was wide awake and in my face by 6:30 a.m., but we’ll just chalk it up to the impending doom that is finals week.

Finals week comes but twice a year (three, if you’re lucky ;) and it never fails to sneak up on you…or  maybe that’s just me. Perhaps it’s not finals week that is so stressful for me at this point. It may just be everything else leading up to finals week, particularly the last week of classes, that makes me question how I’m ever going to survive another 5 or 6 years of this. Stress levels are heightened, tensions are high, and people are cranky. Relationships are questioned, memories are replayed of how you possibly could have missed those two extra points that will now prevent you from getting that A, and all you want to do is take a quick break from the craziness around you.

At this point, some people may resort to doing something destructive. Drinking too much, gambling away your life’s savings, or even just completely shutting down and pretending the world around you doesn’t exist. Me? I bake.

I’ve often found baking to be a relatively stress free activity. With baking, you have the world at your fingertips. You can bake anything and everything you’ve ever wanted. You can try out that old family recipe for homemade apple pie, or you can test out your knowledge of how ingredients interact and end up with something really great (…or sometimes in my case, something that won’t be worth recreating). Whatever the case may be, I channeling my stress into bake. At the end, you’re left with a delicious treat that can be shared…or kept for yourself :) …and you’ve managed to make other people happy (hopefully) too. Perhaps that’s another reason I like baking so much. I like to share and it makes me happy when other people are happy.

 So, yesterday I was feeling particularly stressed out. This is the result.

 

Peanut butter cookies and fudge brownies.

I wish I had a takeaway message from this post. I’m not sure there is one, but I guess the point is that being stressed out doesn’t mean you have to cope with it negatively (oh my goodness, can you hear the psychologist in me coming out?). Bake and share. Take pictures and enter them in a contest. Go for a run and get in shape for that upcoming race. Whatever the case may be, you can find a way to channel your stress into something positive :)

Happy baking to you all <3

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Making a Non-Milestone Birthday Count

3 Apr

I know this may come as a surprise to you.

In fact, it came as a surprise to me as well.

My father bought me the white house for my birthday. No, really-He did. He bought it when I turned four and we’ve been living in it for 19 years now.

Oh, you thought I meant this White House.

Sorry about the confusion. Although that would have been nice, I imagine that’s not even possible.

When I turned four, my family moved to a new house. Apparently I went around telling everyone that my father had bought me the white house for my birthday. Although I failed to see the humor in my innocent expression at the time, I now laugh when I think back on this memory.

Over the years I have received a plethora of wonderful gifts from friends and family.

Last week I turned 23.

There’s nothing especially exciting about turning 23-there’s nothing I can do now that I couldn’t do at 22 and it doesn’t represent a milestone birthday. It’s just-23. Seems pretty boring when you put it like that.

Sometimes I think we have to make our birthdays special for ourselves. Not because other people forgot about us. Not because we didn’t receive gifts. Not because anyone or anything failed to happen the way you imagined it would.

Just because. What makes one year any different than another is what you choose to do with it.

I’m a relatively shy and reserved person. Those of you who know me, know this to be true. Although I generally don’t have difficulty chatting with strangers, I’d say I’m more shy than not. I may have an idea about the way things should be, but may wait months or years to act on this idea. And by that time, I’ve probably already missed my chance.

I wanted this year to be different. I wanted to make 23 something worth remembering. It took me a long time to realize that being shy and reserved isn’t getting me anywhere. In fact, it’s overrated. Sometimes you have to take life into your own hands and see where that leads you. Whether it’s going after that special person you’ve had your eye on recently, or it’s finally having the courage to stand up for something you believe in, go for it.

A lot of people set New Years Resolutions and fail to stick to them past the end of January. I think this is a little different. Your birthday is the one day of the year that things really can be about you. Most of us probably receive loads of attention and gifts from others on our birthdays, but how often do you give yourself a gift? I know, it sounds silly, but you know yourself better than anyone else. Consider it a gift that will make you a better person and will be the one thing you can give yourself that no one else can. Make your non-milestone (and milestone birthdays, for that matter) count.

Make this year different.

Make this year count.

 

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“Fashion is an art. You express who you are through what you’re wearing.”

14 Mar

Lets face it, fashion is important. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, and probably everyday to come. Although some people choose not to fall prey to the latest fashion trends that invade our lives as one season changes to the next, others are right there in front leading the pack. I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle. Although I try to wear clothes that are ‘in’ during a particular season, I am often a little late to catch on and often refuse to give up some of my old favorites (I mean, really-leather pants will come back in style…right?)

Regardless, how you look is important-from the way you wear your hair, to the outfit and accessories you choose, all the way down to the shoes you have on. While I’m certainly not the most fashionable person anywhere I go, I think I know a thing or two aboutit. From hair to makeup to nail polish, these are some of my favorite fashion items/products.

Hair

As a baby and little girl, my mom often put headbands in my hair much to my dismay. Think about it-how often are you out and see a little girl with a goofy flower strapped on her head? My guess is, pretty frequently. I don’t know if most girls go through this as they grow up or if it just wasn’t fashionable at the time, but I didn’t wear a lot of headbands in my adolescence. However, in the past few years, I’ve found myself wearing more and more headbands and scarves (in fact, I wore a scarf in my hair for every speech tournament my senior year). It’s fast and easy and instantly transforms a bad hair today to something sophisticated. You could wear it with your hair up or down, braided, or in an updo. I’m actually a little sad I was so late to jump on the bandwagon. There are headbands for every occasion-from a sophisticated look in the office, to a fancy event, or to a night on the town-there’s a headband for everyone :)

Nails 

I admit, I spend most of my days without my fingernails painted. Although I love how my nails ultimately look when I take the time to do them, I’m usually not willing to spend the time it takes to keep up with chipped nails. However, I do love OPI nail polish when I actually do invest time in doing them.

They offer a variety of colors for everyone and have different lines that come out relatively frequently. My favorite line is the Muppets Nail Polish Collection. I mean, who wouldn’t want to wear the Fresh Frog of Bel-Air, Excuse Moi!, or Gettin’ Piggy with it?

opi-muppet-inspired-nail-polish-collection

Clothing 

Although I rarely wear them right now, I am a big fan of dresses. I love the feeling of wearing a dress whether it be to go out for the night, to go to class, or just to go shopping-dresses are fun =) I have quite a collection of dresses at home that I need to transport to my current apartment. I think dresses are very in right now…at least they are to me.


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…And you thought you had it bad?

27 Feb

During the summer before my senior year of college I started experiencing pain more severe than anything else I had ever felt before. Sometimes the pain was so severe that I thought I might pass out. It was intense. excruciating. miserable. The culprit? A tooth.

Unable to handle the pain anymore, I made an appointment with my dentist. When I finally met with him, he informed me that I’d need to see a specialist who might have to do a root canal on my front tooth. My front tooth.

When I saw the specialist, he did various (painful) tests to see what was wrong. What he found? My front tooth had an abscess that would require treatment. The options? A root canal, surgery, or pulling the tooth…Wait, what? Pull my front tooth? I don’t think so. I opted for the root canal and cried both in the office and on the car ride home at the thought of having this done. If the root canal didn’t work, we’d have to move on to the other options. This wasn’t fair. I was just about to begin my senior year. I had a lot to look forward to-graduate school interviews, presentations, and a great final year of undergrad. I had taken great care of my teeth my whole life, had braces, and had worn my retainer like I was instructed. This shouldn’t happen to me.

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At the same time, someone a year younger was receiving treatment for cancer.

It’s funny, really. Here I was, crying about having to have a root canal while someone younger than me was dealing with cancer treatments. While a parent was taking her child to chemotherapy or radiation, I was upset and feeling sorry for myself because I had a tooth problem. Which then just made me cry even more. How could I be so selfish that I could be upset over having to have a root canal when other people were suffering much worse than me?

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Everyday we are bombarded with tragedies both on the news and in our own lives.

Everyday someone is diagnosed with cancer, heart disease, kidney failure-you name it.

Everyday a child buries their parent, a husband buries their wife, a sister buries her brother, a mother buries her son.

I’ve seen my fair share of tragedies, whether it be a friend whose mom passed away, a dance teacher who died at the young age of 24 just before she was to be married, a young man who died leaving his family to mourn him…well,you get the picture.

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Does it matter, though? Does knowing that people have it worse off than you make your load any less to carry? Does seeing these things make it a little easier for you to get through the day?

It’s really easy to get caught up in our own lives while failing to see the bigger picture. It’s easy to think that everything that could go wrong will go wrong and that life won’t get any easier. It’s easy to think that we’re alone in the world and that no one could possibly understand what we’re going through. Whenever I really start to feel this way, I try to keep things in perspective. I try to remember that those deadlines I have to meet aren’t there to punish me, but are there to challenge. I try to remember that even when I wake up in the morning with a throbbing headache or a stomachache, at least I’m alive. At lease I can see and hear and touch and feel.

I try to remember that even though things are bad right now, they won’t always be.

I try to keep things in perspective and realize that the little things that I am upset or angry about would be welcome distractions from people facing much more severe obstacles in their lives.

It doesn’t make our day to day challenges any less. It just makes us see that it’s really not as bad as we thought.

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Caution: Uninspired and Brick Wall Ahead!

6 Feb

Today I hit a brick wall.

Okay, not literally.

I didn’t physically hit a brick wall, but it’s all the same.

Even though we are only four weeks into the semester and classes aren’t too busy yet, I feel uninspired. I feel overworked. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like there’s so much to do that I just can’t do anything. I feel like I lack motivation to do what needs to get done (that’s not really true) and I feel like I just can’t get jumpstarted.

Unfortunately, I have a tendency to shut-down when I find myself in situations like this. I become frustrated with everything I need to do and with people and I become so preoccupied with thinking about working that I often forget to actually do the work (this also isn’t exactly true). Fortunately, I always find the inspiration to complete my tasks and to complete them well, but it’s that interim period that’s really challenging.

These next few weeks are going to be frighteningly hectic. Ah, the joys of being a graduate student! Between a fellowship application, two ethics committee proposals, a literature review, a submission deadline for a conference, and a data set proposal (not to mention thesis work…and my classes), there’s a whole lot that needs to get done in a relatively short period of time.

This is my brick wall.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about finding inspiration and I suggested you watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture (Did you do it?! If not-do it now. I insist…seriously). Regardless, in his talk, he discussed the notion of brick walls as such:

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

I think that sometimes we get to a point where we’ve hit our brick wall and we think, I can’t do this. There’s no way I can overcome this hurdle or obstacle. It’s simply not worth it. Sometimes we let the brick wall get the best of us and we give up. We see them as standing in our way and preventing us from accomplishing something that could be really great. But we shouldn’t. The brick walls are not there to prevent us from achieving a certain task. They are there for everyone else. They are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as we do. They are there for the people who will not push through and who will throw in the towel. They’re just there to really show us how much we want something and how much we’re willing to fight for something we believe in.

So, even though my inspiration levels are still low and I’m lacking in motivation, I realize that these next few weeks are not there to prevent me from achieving something great. They are there to show me how badly I really want these things. They are there to push my limits and test my abilities in new and exciting (eh…) ways. They’re just there to keep others out.

 

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It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…the great state of Ohio?

30 Jan

Ah, Ohio.

Known for its extremely supportive Cleveland sports fans and…well, that’s all I can think of.

Be honest. When you think of the 50 states that make up this great country, what states come to mind as those that stand out for their beauty, reputation, or life of luxury? When planning your honeymoon in the United States, do you dream of going somewhere warm with sand and a beach such as Florida or California, or do you think of going to a place where the weather is so unpredictable that you can experience at least 3 of the 4 seasons in one day as in Ohio? Planning an extended weekend trip-would you rather go to NYC and see all the wonderful attractions it has to offer, or travel to Ohio to visit…?

You get the point.

When people think of the United States, I highly doubt that many of them think of Ohio as being extremely notable for a whole lot. In fact, many people who I know who live here sport bumper stickers on their cars, similar to this:

It’s sad to think that even people who live here have many complaints about being here. Don’t get me wrong, there are certainly times in which I wish lived somewhere in which the weather was a little less unpredictable and where I consistently had a winning sports team to cheer for (I’m kidding here-I’m a Cavs fan through and through, with or without LeBron). Despite my whininess (yes, I did make  up that word) about the weather and the complaints of my fellow Ohioans, I think we may need to reconsider the importance of this state in the grand scheme of things. So do presidential candidates.

Before discussing that, I’d like to point out some really awesome things about this state (which may reiterate some of Abbie’s previous post):

‘Ides of March’ starring George Clooney and Ryan Gosling was filmed (at least partially) in Ohio!

Parts of the new ‘Avengers’ movie was also filmed in Ohio! (The street scenes are in downtown Cleveland!)

Speaking of Cleveland, it is home to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, visited by thousands of music lovers and Rock fans alike, not to mention their many inductees (Prince, Bob Seger, George Harrison, Miles Davis, Madonna…and the list continues). We have the Buckeyes, the Browns, and the Cleveland Clinic (couldn’t think of another B there).

Enough about that already. As we all know, this is a very important year in terms of politics. Within the next few months, we will be choosing the person who will lead our country for the next four years. Will Americans choose to reelect our current democratic president, Barack Obama? Or, will our citizens decide they want a fresh face in office and support a republican candidate such as Mitt Romney or Rick Santorum? Regardless of who you support (frankly, I don’t care as long as you are an informed voter), Ohio will play an important role in this upcoming election.

Did you know that in the last 27 presidential elections, Ohio has picked the winner 25 times? As a result, did you know that without Ohio, it’s unlikely that your candidate may win this upcoming presidential election?

If you doubt my accuracy in these statements, just look it up. Oh, and if you think, ‘So what, the candidates don’t really care about Ohio’s 18 electoral votes…” Guess again.

In the last presidential election, I was impressed at how many political representatives came to both Ohio, and specifically my community. During the course of the election period, we were lucky enough to: have Barack Obama speak to our community at least twice (including as a visitor to our university where I worked the event-as did at least 1 of the other dames), host Hillary Clinton at an event (which I also worked), have Joe Biden visit, and have Good Morning American filmed in our community where John McCain was a guest (…gotta love getting up at 4:30 am to see these politicians). Furthermore, former speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi also hosted an event in our community (I have pictures), as did former senator Ted Kennedy. The crazy thing about all this is that this was all in my community and does not even account for the many visits that these individuals made throughout this great state during those crucial election months.

My favorite event that we hosted has to be Rock the Vote! When Rock the Vote came to our town, they brought Sheryl Crow, the Beastie Boys, AND  Ben Stiller (who looked like he had just walked off the set of ‘Meet the Parents’ I might add)!

Ohio’s primary is coming up in March and I expect things to get a little crazy here in the next few weeks. Even though I’m getting my graduate degree in psychology, I have a certain (hidden) love for politics. I guess I feel like I have to put my political science degree to use some how. I’m really looking forward to seeing who makes their way here and look forward to seeing as many candidates as possible (Republican or Democrat).

So…if you doubt this great state, think of this and all that it has to offer. Think of the role that we are going to play in November. Whether you vote for Obama or the Republican candidate, just remember that your vote does matter (sorry…didn’t mean to get preachy there).

 

 

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Maybe I should just get rid of the bar…

21 Jan

I’m not really good at setting New Years Resolutions. Over the past few years, I’ve thought of various things that I’ve wanted to give up or change about myself, but to no avail. Like many of you (and I hope it’s not just me), my goals are long forgotten within the first few weeks of the new year. I’d move on to more important things like starting classes again, catching up with family and friends, and spending far too much time watching the season premieres of various television shows. During the time period in which I did set goals for myself, they would be to a relatively high standard (for me) that would drastically change the lifestyle I had been living. Sometimes, they were unrealistic and often left me feeling upset and disappointed in myself because I didn’t accomplish what I had set out to do.

Don’t get me wrong-I am a very competitive individual and hold myself to a high standard. Fortunately (or unfortunately in some cases), I expect a lot out of myself (and sometimes others) and get really frustrated when my expectations aren’t met. It’s probably one of the reasons (at least at an unconscious level) that I stop setting goals at the beginning of each year.

While I was home for break, I had the pleasure of spending a considerable amount of time with many of my high school friends. Despite the years, distance, arguments, and lack of conversations at times, many of us have managed to stay close! Without fail, I can guarantee that I am going to see them and do something silly with them whenever I am home (or whenever other friends come home). One evening, I was at my friend’s apartment and we had a conversation that I’ve been thinking about since that time.

It was shortly after the new year and I believe we were talking about setting resolutions. At the time, I had been thinking about setting a specific goal for myself for the new year, but was worried that I would fall short of my desired outcome. Telling my friend this, she explained to me the difference between high-jump goals and long-jump goals. Despite my experience in the field of psychology in which we discuss such things, this topic was unfamiliar to me.

High-jump goals have a specific bar you have to jump over (like in track). If you don’t make it over the bar, you fail. For example, someone may start off the year by saying that they want to lose 15 pounds by the end of February. If they do in fact lose these 15 pounds, hooray! However, if they don’t lose them all (even if they’ve lost 14 pounds), they haven’t accomplished their goal and are often left feeling disappointed.

Long-jump goals are different than high-jump goals because they are more lenient in their presentation. With a long-jump goal, there is not a specific standard you have to meet (or bar you have to jump over). Your goal may be that in the first two months of the year, you want to lose weight. Regardless of how much weight you lose after those two months, you’ve accomplished your goal. With long-jump goals, you aren’t left feeling disappointed in the same way that you would be with a high-jump goal.

After this conversation (and reading up on this topic a little more), I realized that many of the New Year’s Resolutions I had been setting had been high-jump goals that often left me feeling disappointed if I didn’t accomplished exactly what I had set out to do (even if I was really close). I think many of us have a tendency to make high-jump goals for ourselves and when our expectations aren’t met, we become discouraged and don’t try anymore. However, by changing our frame of mind and the way in which we make goals, we can accomplish things that we might not have tried if we kept giving ourselves a bar to jump over.

So, I decided to take that conversation and apply it to my own life. This year, I’m not going to have a set goal that I need to meet. I’m just going to work on some long-jump goals. One goal is to be healthier. So far, so good. My fridge consists of mostly fruits and vegetables, my freezer is stocked full of frozen vegetables, and my friend and I bought gym memberships at our school on Wednesday. (We’ve already gone 3 times. Side note: Spinning is intense. Yoga is fun…ish).

Now, let’s not kid ourselves. Some things lend themselves better to high-jump goals. YThere are certainly times in which a high-jump goal is necessary. For example, at this time next year I should be done applying to PhD programs with the (high-jump) goal of getting in. If that doesn’t happen, I will be devastated…and you will have to hear about :) (Umm…hopefully that doesn’t happen, though)!

So, how are your resolutions going? If you’re struggling, just get rid of the bar :)

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