Tag Archives: dreams

“Beautiful Creatures”: Smart, Southern, and Supernatural Gothic

26 Jan

I just finished reading Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl. I flew through it in less than 2 days and thought it was a great read. Read below to see my thoughts on the book.

Beautiful Creatures Book Cover

2012 was a rough year for reading for me. My last semester of graduate school was tough. Finishing my classes, writing my thesis, and thinking about what to do with the rest of my life took up most of my time and most of my ability to think. Summer turned out to not be too good for reading either. I was busy for the first part of the summer, my grandfather became ill, and then I was applying for jobs. The Fall continued on with the job search and I felt guilty about reading when I could have been filling out applications.

But, then in early December, my grandfather died. While he was ill, his death was surprising because it came rapidly and with little warning. Pain gives you new perspective. It teaches you.

Books do the same thing. The stories of others help make the events in your own story make sense. They bring catharsis. So, I resolved to not feel guilty about devoting some of my time to reading. I’ve read 2 books so far this week, 4 since the 1st of the month. So, expect me to talk about books a little more on here in the future. :-)

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But, back to Beautiful Creatures.

Published in 2009, Beautiful Creatures is technically a Young Adult novel for readers ages 12 and up. It is a Southern, Gothic Romance with a storyline deeply rooted in the supernatural. The novel draws heavily on themes of magic and fate. It is 563 pages.

Authors Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl wrote the novel after being dared to by some of the teenagers in their lives. Garcia and Stohl came up with the idea for Beautiful Creatures over lunch and wrote initial passages on napkins. They wrote the book in serial form at first, feeding pages at a time to these same teens who became increasingly impatient to read more of the story. Three months later, the first draft was complete and after some editing Beautiful Creatures is an international bestseller, the first book in a four-part series (The Caster Chronicles), and soon to be a major motion picture.

This is the book cover for the movie-tie-in.

This is the book cover for the movie-tie-in.

A General, Spoiler-free Summary:

Beautiful Creatures is told from the perspective of Ethan Lawson Wate, a 16-year old high school sophomore living in fictional Gatlin, South Carolina in the present day. At the beginning of the book, Ethan is still reeling from the death of his mother Lila several months before in a car accident and is unsure how to react from his father Mitchell’s depressed behavior. Virtually ignored by his devastated father, who sleeps all day and locks himself in his study all night, Ethan relies on the love, support, and care of housekeeper Amma who is like his grandmother.

Raised to be open minded by his liberal professor/writer parents, Ethan feels out of place in Gatlin, a small Southern town deeply rooted in its history and in its conservative values, and he cannot wait until he can leave after high school graduation. A member of the Jackson High School basketball team and a relatively popular kid in his class, Ethan spends most days with his best friend Wesley “Link” Lincoln. However, as summer ends and his sophomore year begins, something is different. Since his mother’s death, Ethan has been plagued by strange dreams, and now he begins to experience strange occurrences and hear strange music. The dreams, which feature a girl Ethan does not know but who seems to know him, seem real — virtually are real — as Ethan wakes up with dirt under his fingernails and mud in his bed.

When Ethan passes a strange car on the road on the first day of school, he feels inexplicably drawn to it, but doesn’t know why. The car’s occupant is Lena Duchannes, niece of Gatlin’s shut-in, Macon Ravenwood. Like her uncle, Lena is “different” than everyone else in Gatlin and she is ridiculed for it by her new classmates. Ethan, however, is drawn to Lena in a way he can’t explain. She is the girl in his dreams, her scent of lemon and rosemary is what he smells as he sleeps, and the music she plays on her viola is the song that mysteriously appears on his iPod.

Ethan becomes Lena’s friend as the rest of Gatlin’s students and residents shun her for her “otherness” and for odd occurrences that begin to happen at Jackson High. Ethan and Lena’s friendship continues to deepen even as her Uncle Macon and his Amma protest the acquaintance. As Ethan seeks to understand his connection to Lena and their relationship develops, Ethan learns that Lena is a Caster. Along with the rest of her family and others like them, she has magical powers. But unlike the others like her family, the Duchannes are cursed — destined to be Claimed on their 16th birthday for either good or evil, for Light or Dark. In a race against time and in a struggle against disapproval, Ethan and Lena rush to learn the meaning of their supernatural connection and to prevent Lena from Turning Dark on her birthday.

In the process, Ethan and Lena learn that all in their lives are not as they seem. That the connection they share goes back over a century to the roots of Gatlin. That Lena’s life has been dominated by secrets. That they may be powerless to do anything.

Ethan and Lena, as depicted in the upcoming Beautiful Creatures film.

Ethan and Lena, as depicted in the upcoming Beautiful Creatures film.

My Take:

I really enjoyed Beautiful Creatures.  Out of 5 stars, I’d give it a 4. For me it was a fast read — I read it on my Nook over the course of about 2 days. At times, the novel was a little slow and lumbering — not because the story was bad, but because there is a lot of description. With this in mind though, I couldn’t wait to keep reading — the plot kept me thoroughly entertained and thoroughly interested. I desperately wanted to know what happened next, to discover the answers to the story’s mysteries.

I also really liked Beautiful Creatures because I found it to be smart, nuanced, and funny. While some may not agree, I found its commentary on small town life and on the narrow mindedness that sometimes infects those towns (or communities or big cities too) funny and true. You’ll have to read to understand, but for someone like myself who is a more liberal persuasion, authors Garcia and Stohl point out important and blind prejudices that many of us have towards who and what may be different in our worlds.

I also enjoyed the story because of its supernatural themes. While I don’t out rightly believe that magic exists (but, who wouldn’t want Harry Potter to be real??), I appreciate the novel’s perception of supernatural connections and fate. I also found the fact that the novel is told from Ethan’s perspective and not from Lena’s to be refreshing.

Some have placed Beautiful Creatures and the three subsequent books in The Caster Chronicles series in the same category as Harry Potter and Twilight. For someone who reveres the ground that the Harry Potter series sits on, I can honestly say that Beautiful Creatures is not as good as Harry Potter. However, I feel that it is, without question, better than the Twilight series.

beautiful-creatures-new-poster-cast

A Note About the Movie:

Beautiful Creatures has been made into a motion picture and premieres on February 13, 2013. It is being marketed as a Romeo and Juliet type story and some changes have been made to the plot and to the characters. This being said, however, authors Garcia and Stohl were heavily involved in the project and I think the film’s trailer looks great!

 

The entire Caster Chronicles — Beautiful Creatures, Beautiful Darkness, Beautiful Chaos, and Beautiful Redemption — series has been published.  The fourth and final book, Beautiful Redemption, was published in October 2012.

Happy Reading! Let me know what you think of Beautiful Creatures.

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Making 2013 Different: Letting Go of Fear

14 Jan

Happy 2013, world! Yes, I know I’m a little behind the times, but at least it’s still January :)

Goodness, it’s been such a long time from writing, so let’s just jump right in! Although I apologize for my long absence, I can make no promises that I will update extremely frequently. Let’s face it, I’ve said it before and look how far we’ve come…or haven’t. How often do we make “promises” to ourselves or to others that we will definitely do something, but then don’t? We see someone from our past and put on a show that we’ll “call soon,”  or that “we’ll make plans” but then forget all about our encounter by the end of the day. Or we say we’re going to try something new, try to change, try to do something different,  but then something distracts us or we get discouraged and we just stop. I think we all have a tendency to do these sorts of things, don’t you?

So then the question becomes, why?

If you ask me (or Meredith Grey), I’d say a lot of it has to do with fear.

I know this is going to come as a surprise to many of you (sarcasm!), but I’m a shy person (mostly). Although I can be extremely outgoing, it takes me awhile to get to that point. Granted, I love people. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be in clinical psychology. But, I’m shy (or inhibited if you want to get clinically technical ;) Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m painstakingly shy. It would be way too hard to do some of the things I have to do if that were the case. But, nonetheless, this is what it is. In my past, I think there may have been times when I let my shyness get the best of me. I would pass up opportunities (concerning guys/opportunities at school/etc.) because I was afraid of…something. Now, I don’t think this is completely related to my being shy. Lots of people have fears of “something” who are extremely outgoing and far from being shy. But, what is this elusive “something” that I feared (and that I’m guessing many of you fear)? Fear of looking foolish or realizing that your expectations were much different than what actually was? Fear of the possibilities, being embarrassed, or being rejected?

I don’t know that there’s a hard and fast answer to this question…unfortunately. Maybe it differs from person to person, or from situation to situation. Maybe it’s something that we won’t ever be able to fully identify.

So, here’s the thing. At the beginning of this year, my friends from high school and I discussed what our new years resolutions were. Now, that’s a painstaking process. Because it’s easy to forget to follow New Years Resolutions, there were years when I figured, why bother? Why bother saying “This year will be different. This year, I will do x, y, and z,” when it was more often the case that my resolutions often didn’t last past January?

Well, this year I became inspired. This year, I decided things will be different. As I got the text from my friends about my resolutions, I  had to think about it for awhile. In May, I graduate with my master’s degree. In August, I hope to be starting a PhD program. A lot of things will be changing. I’ll be 24 this year and if I don’t get into a PhD program, I’ll be starting my real grown-up life (scary!) after graduation. I know 23 and 24 are young. People tell me that all the time. But, I feel like I’m at a point where I need to start thinking about my future and my career and being with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and starting a family and all the craziness that goes along with that.

So you’re thinking, okay Jeannette get to the point. What does this have to do with your resolutions? Well, my faithful readers, I’ll tell you. It has everything to do with them.  After some thought, I responded to my friends the following: “Let go of my inhibition and don’t let it get in the way of accomplishing greatness!” Okay…so the last bit about greatness may have been a little bit dramatic, but you should get the point.

So often, we let this something, this fear, get in the way.

It doesn’t matter what it gets in the way of; it’s enough that our fears prevent us from taking action.

From speaking up about your ideas and values.

From telling someone how we feel about them and asking them out for coffee.

The point is, our fears (this “something”) can prevent us from, well…accomplishing greatness. Think about it for one second; if you let your fears rule your life, maybe you could be missing out on potentially finding your ideal job (because you’re too afraid to apply for the job), or from starting a relationship with someone who could become your potential spouse (because you’re too afraid of the rejection you may face by asking them out).

I guess the whole point of this is to not let your fears (whatever they may be) control your life. Don’t let them prevent you from taking action (whatever that may mean).

I can’t say for certain how the rest of the year will go, but for now, I’ve already started to make this year different. 

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Fighting Imposter Syndrome and “Knowing Your Value”

29 Apr

As Abbie and Jeannette have stated in their posts this we Dames have been on a little bit of a hiatus. For myself, life has simply been unbelievably busy. I’m happy to report that my M.A. thesis is completely written and that I’ve passed my comprehensive exams. I still have to finish thesis revisions, but graduation is getting more and more tangible by the day.

I won’t lie, I have mixed feelings about graduating. I’m extremely happy to be moving on to something new, and I’m looking forward to exploring different job opportunities and just seeing what’s out there. Unfortunately, I will not be attending a Ph.D. program next year. I’m okay with this though. I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason, and after going through the process of researching and writing a thesis, I’ve come to realize that I need a break. There are so many things I can do, there are so many ways to find happiness — and I can’t wait to find out what that might be.

I had some trouble getting my thesis started back in February. Unfortunately, when I write I have to start at the beginning. I can’t write the body of a paper first and then go back later and write the introduction. I have to write the intro first, even if it means completely re-writing it later. Once I did get going though, I wrote, edited, and re-wrote almost non-stop — to the point that I almost made myself crazy. I constantly second-guessed myself, stressing about every little detail, worrying that my readers would think I was a fraud, that my argument made no sense, that what I was saying was a bunch of crap. I’ve decided that I suffer from “Imposter Syndrome.”

Everyone has insecurities about a variety of things, but school has always been a major part of my life. I mean, let’s face it, I’ve been in school non-stop since age 3. That was 21 years ago. (God, I feel old — haha!) So, I forget sometimes that I’m not just a young student who has no authority. I have a Bachelor’s degree, I’m an adult, I have experience. I need to start remembering that and acting accordingly. Just because I’m still a student doesn’t mean that I don’t know things with relative certainty.

It’s the same idea with jobs. I’ve been looking around at different possibilities in between working on revisions. There are a lot of different jobs that I have the education, skills, and experience to do. But, I just need to remind myself that Ican do them. Yeah, they’re not “history” jobs — but that’s perfectly okay. They don’t need to be. I am not an imposter, in history or in terms of my other abilities. They’re not going to look at me immediately and say,  “You? Hahaha. We don’t think so.” I am not an imposter.

In addition to reminding myself that I am not an imposter, the process of writing my thesis also provided me with some insight on knowing my value. Even though I wrote almost non-stop for a month and a half, I didn’t write 24/7. In my downtime, I read a book called “Knowing Your Value: Women, Money, and Getting What You’re Worth” by Mika Brzezinski (co-host of Morning Joe with Joe Scarborough on MSNBC).

In her book, Mika Brzezinski discusses how she was re-hired at MSNBC in 2007 after losing her job at CBS. Grateful to have any job, Mika took what she could get — even if that meant only working a few hours a day for paltry pay and working the worst hours. A twist of fate resulted in Joe Scarborough singling her out as his desired co-host for a new morning show, but even with her new gig, she was still working on a host of other assignments for the network for far less pay than her Morning Joe co-workers. Upset with her unfair treatment and unequal (or, really in the same ballpark) pay, Mika when to her boss to ask for a raise. Her request was rejected.

This book, and my discussion of it, is not entirely about politics or the gender wage gap. Believe me, that gap is a real issue — but women’s consideration of their own value is equally as important in the equation. Mika, with the help of other famous friends, describes how many women (and some men too) lack the confidence of their own value in the workplace.

Instead of  asking for a raise in a confident manner,  Mika identifies that she went into the meeting with an apologetic tone — that she was sorry she had to ask, that she didn’t want to cause waves, that she understood money was tight and times were tough. She focused on the idea that she was so “lucky” to be on this program and to have a position at MSNBC — that she was grateful.

There’s nothing wrong with humility. But, at the same time, gratefulness isn’t confidence. Mika learned that she had to remember she deserved a raise. She deserved to be there. She was more than qualified for her job. She was valuable.

Here are some great quotes from the book:

“The problem is, a woman is socialized to accept that which she is given. So if somebody tells you that you can’t, you believe it. If somebody says you’re not worth it, you believe it.” - Suze Orman

“The key is to do your research. The most important thing that people don’t realize, especially women, is you can’t go in [to ask for a raise] expecting people to take care of you and that they’re going to be fair. They’re going to try to get the best deal they can.” - Lesley Jane Seymour, editor-in-chief of More

“Assuming power is everything. You have to assume it … [don't] wait to be asked.”  - Tina Brown, co-founder and editor-in-chief of The Daily Beast and editor-in-chief of Newsweek

“A lot of getting ahead in the workplace has to do with being willing to raise your hand. . . . If we as women don’t raise our hands in the workplace, we’re not going to get the same opportunities men do. Because men keep their hands up.”
- Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook

Imposter Syndrome and not knowing your value go hand in hand. I myself am gulity of feeling lucky or grateful for simply being given the consideration for something. For downplaying my own achievements or my own intelligence to not stand out too much. Even to my own eyes and ears now, these statements sound a little arrogant. But they’re not. Everyone has strengths. Everyone has weaknesses. But we are all valuable in different ways.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not valuable. You are.

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Caution: Uninspired and Brick Wall Ahead!

6 Feb

Today I hit a brick wall.

Okay, not literally.

I didn’t physically hit a brick wall, but it’s all the same.

Even though we are only four weeks into the semester and classes aren’t too busy yet, I feel uninspired. I feel overworked. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like there’s so much to do that I just can’t do anything. I feel like I lack motivation to do what needs to get done (that’s not really true) and I feel like I just can’t get jumpstarted.

Unfortunately, I have a tendency to shut-down when I find myself in situations like this. I become frustrated with everything I need to do and with people and I become so preoccupied with thinking about working that I often forget to actually do the work (this also isn’t exactly true). Fortunately, I always find the inspiration to complete my tasks and to complete them well, but it’s that interim period that’s really challenging.

These next few weeks are going to be frighteningly hectic. Ah, the joys of being a graduate student! Between a fellowship application, two ethics committee proposals, a literature review, a submission deadline for a conference, and a data set proposal (not to mention thesis work…and my classes), there’s a whole lot that needs to get done in a relatively short period of time.

This is my brick wall.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about finding inspiration and I suggested you watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture (Did you do it?! If not-do it now. I insist…seriously). Regardless, in his talk, he discussed the notion of brick walls as such:

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

I think that sometimes we get to a point where we’ve hit our brick wall and we think, I can’t do this. There’s no way I can overcome this hurdle or obstacle. It’s simply not worth it. Sometimes we let the brick wall get the best of us and we give up. We see them as standing in our way and preventing us from accomplishing something that could be really great. But we shouldn’t. The brick walls are not there to prevent us from achieving a certain task. They are there for everyone else. They are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as we do. They are there for the people who will not push through and who will throw in the towel. They’re just there to really show us how much we want something and how much we’re willing to fight for something we believe in.

So, even though my inspiration levels are still low and I’m lacking in motivation, I realize that these next few weeks are not there to prevent me from achieving something great. They are there to show me how badly I really want these things. They are there to push my limits and test my abilities in new and exciting (eh…) ways. They’re just there to keep others out.

 

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Welcome to the Real World, Snow White; Or How Fairy Tales Have Taken Over My Sunday Nights

23 Jan

Do you believe in fairy tales?

I do.

But, let me clarify. I don’t believe in fairy tales literally. I mean, we can talk about how the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge live a fairy tale romance and lifestyle all we want, but in the end they’re normal human beings with highs and lows just like everyone else.

So, to say I believe in fairy tales doesn’t mean that I believe they actually exist. I do believe that everyone can have fairy tale moments in their life. But, mostly, I believe in the escapism of fairy tales, the mechanism they provide for children and adults alike to imagine and dream, and I believe in their entertainment value.

The last six months have been big for fairy tales, and it looks like the trend is going to continue.

In particular, it’s been a big year for fairy tales on network television where  two different series focus on them, one on NBC (Grimm) and one on ABC: Once Upon a Time.

While I’ve heard good things about Grimm, I’m not going to talk about it here, because I’m not a viewer.

I am, however, going to talk about Once Upon a Time and how it has filled a void in my Sunday nights that I didn’t know existed, since I (as discussed in a previous post) devote my Sundays nights to PBS’ Masterpiece.

Not only is this a big year for fairy tales, it’s also a big year for Snow White. Not only are there two feature films coming out soon focusing on Snow White (Snow White and the Huntsman and Mirror Mirror), but Once Upon a Time builds upon Snow White and Prince Charming’s story, allowing for a whole new take on the land of fairy tales, how its characters are all interconnected, and how they’re not all quite what they seem.

I had seen the previews for Once Upon a Time online and on TV early in the Fall and was waiting excitedly for it to premiere — I may claim that I don’t believe in fairy tales, but that doesn’t mean I’m not a sucker for them. :-)

I knew from the beginning that Once Upon a Time was going to be interesting, not only from what I knew of its basic premise, but also because its two creators were once writers on the JJ Abrams’ series Lost. 

To explain that basic premise of Once Upon a Time , I need to take you back to the beginning of my post. I asked you whether you “believed in fairy tales,” but what I should have asked was “What if fairy tales and all their characters were real?”

This is what Once Upon a Time is all about.

As I said before, Once Upon a Time, at its core, is about Snow White. Most of us know the story. Snow White loves Prince Charming, she makes the Evil Queen mad, the Evil Queen poisons her with an apple, the Seven Dwarfs place her in a glass coffin, Prince Charming finds, kisses, and saves Snow White and they all live happily ever after.

Or do they?

Once Upon a Time begins with a wedding. Prince Charming has rescued Snow White and they’re getting their happy ending — until The Evil Queen shows up and vows to destroy the newly married couple’s happiness.

Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White and Josh Dallas as Prince Charming

 
Lana Parrilla as the Evil Queen.

Our stay in “fairy tale land” (real name: The Enchanted Forest) doesn’t last long and before we know it, we’re being introduced to Emma Swan, a bad ass bailbonds-woman living in present day, modern Boston.

Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan.

It’s her birthday – her 28th – and she’s alone in her apartment, just having blown out the candle on her cupcake when the doorbell rings. Her unexpected guest is 10 year old Henry, the son she gave up for adoption, who says he’s come to get her and bring her back to his hometown of Storybrooke, Maine. Freaked out by his appearance and willing to do anything to shove this skeleton back in her closet, Emma agrees to take Henry home.

Jared Gilmore as Henry.

Henry doesn’t keep the motive for his visit secret long. He’s brought a book with him, one whose stories, he claims, are true, and in which he says his birth mother is a character.

Henry tells Emma that she is the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, and she is meant to save the residents of Storybrook — all fairytale characters from the Enchanted Forest — who were cursed by the Evil Queen. She was born shortly before the curse was enacted and her parents found a way to send her out of the Enchanted Forest in time. Since then, all of the Forest’s residents have been trapped in Storybrook, where time stands still and no one except, it seems, for Henry, can leave. No one knows who they are either, or how they’re related to one another. They are “normal” people who go on with normal lives and don’t notice that no one ages and nothing ever changes.  The Happily Ever Afters are over.

Mary Margaret is drawn to the comatose John Doe.

Snow White is Mary Margaret, a lonely teacher who spends her spare time volunteering at the hospital where she dotes on a comatose “John Doe” (Prince Charming). Rumpelstiltskin is Mr. Gold, the town pawnbroker. Granny and Red Riding Hood are Granny and Ruby, grandmother and granddaughter running an inn and a diner. Jiminy Cricket is the town psychiatrist, Dr. Archie Hopper.

She doesn’t believe Henry and takes him home. He claims his adoptive mother, Storybrooke’s mayor, is evil.

Does the Mayor remember who she really is? Does she know who Emma is?

Turns out she is, because Mayor Regina Mills happens to be The Evil Queen.

Emma drops Henry off and when she tries to leave town, “something bad happens” — just as Henry tells her it will — and she is prevented from leaving.

So, Emma stays, and again, just as Henry predicted, things begin changing in Storybrooke.

Broadcast on Sundays at 8pm on ABC, Once Upon a Time is my new obsession. It perfectly blends fairy tales, with their romance and fantasy qualities, with a great mystery.

Each episode takes place both in Storybrooke and in the Enchanted Forest. The action is Storybrooke drives forward, while the backstory in the Enchanted Forest doesn’t always take place in order.

If you’re interested in watching, I definitely suggest starting from the beginning. This is a show that builds upon its previous episodes, like puzzle pieces being fit together.

If you don’t have access to previous episodes, then you should catch up via recaps on the internet.

Have fun in Storybrooke and the Enchanted Forest. But watch out for The Evil Queen/Regina — her dishes are deadly.

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Why Being Realistic is Not Being Defeatist: Applying to Grad School in 2012

7 Jan

Jeannette’s post last week, in which she discussed her 2011 and mentioned the ups and downs of applying to graduate school, got me thinking…

About graduate school in general, particularly the application process, and what it means to be a grad school applicant in 2012.

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What is the difference between keeping yourself open to opportunities/being realistic and being “defeatist?”

I have always thought (and still do) that those things were very different.

I think that the former is an outlook that is essential today, in 2012, in the world and economy that we live in.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m a dreamer. I’m always coming up with crazy schemes, unrealistic plans, wild and grandiose adventures. But, at the same time, I always leave my mind open to all the possibilities available to me, whether they’re possibilities in the short term, the long term, or the very very long term.

I think this is something that you have to be willing to do today, because nothing, particularly in the job market, is guaranteed.

We, as young people in the 21st century, do not have the luxury of easily finding a job with good pay and benefits, in the location we want, with the hours we want, and on top of that have the security of knowing we can continue in that job until we retire. Life, unfortunately, doesn’t work like that anymore.

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Three weeks ago, I attended a conference in Washington, DC where I was an exhibitor promoting the latest issue of one of the academic journals that I work for. On my first day there, another exhibitor was perusing the different booths when she came up and started to talk to me. She asked where I was from, etc. and in the course of our conversation I told her that I was a graduate student applying to PhD programs.  Then she asked me what I planned to do after I got my PhD. I told her that my plan was to secure a university job if possible, but that I was remaining open to all opportunities and “being realistic” about the state of the academic job market and the number of faculty positions available in history versus the number of history PhDs out there.

Her response caught me off guard: “Well, that’s a little defeatist, isn’t it?”

Defeatist?

I don’t really remember how I responded, but our conversation ended soon after and I didn’t give it much thought the rest of the day. But, that night, I started worrying. I had said something similar on the PhD applications that I had already submitted by then — regarding my career goals and my “openness” to different kinds of jobs within the history market.

I thought I had been making myself marketable — demonstrating that I was aware of the limitations inherent within the field I study and hope to work in.

I didn’t, and don’t, think I was being defeatist.

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Unfortunately, I just don’t think that some people understand the pressure that students in this country are under to succeed today. They don’t understand what it means to be a member of the Millennial Generation — simultaneously praised and vilified for intelligence and eccentricity, command of technology and laziness. Yes. We do things differently, but we are a product of past generations, generations that have brought us to this time and place.

A place and time where the need to succeed, to be the best, seems to be more important today than it ever has. There are more college graduates in the United States today than ever before, and the number of people applying to and attending some form of graduate school is also on the rise. Jobs that used to require Bachelor’s degrees are now requiring Master’s degrees, and the jobs themselves are scarce to begin with.

Expectations are also high for workers. To be the first one in and the last one to leave, to be the best, the brightest, and to not complain when economic realities necessitate the elimination of staff, the combination of duties, and a lack of raises.

Applying to graduate school is a lot like the job market. It’s also a lot like politics. (Don’t worry, I’m not about to get partisan – which is one of our rules here on Dames Who Dish.)

I could list all the things that I think are wrong with the grad school application process — like the bogus-ness of the GRE, the unfairness of the preference given to graduates of Ivy League schools, and the ambiguous application directions that some schools supply to applicants, but I won’t.

Instead, I’m going to tell you some of the things I’ve learned along the way.

1. Don’t let anyone belittle or criticize your decision to attend graduate school, whether you’re doing so because you can’t find a job, or because you love school, or because it’s simply one more step towards a larger goal. It is your decision and being a nerd, or seeking new opportunities is nothing to be ashamed of. You know that applying to grad school and attending grad school is not easy. Don’t let others assume that it is.

2. Ask lots of different people for lots of advice — but come to your own conclusion. Don’t take everything everyone tells you about graduate school as the absolute truth. Remember, that the people giving you advice about grad school (particularly professors and others in academia) have all had different experiences and may not be up to speed on the latest grad school goings-on. Listen to them, think about what they say, but in the end, come to your own conclusion about where you’re applying, what you want, etc.

3. Identify a confidant.  Applying to grad school is stressful. Not only do you want to ask for people’s advice, but you’re going to need someone to talk things out with. Someone who will go to bat for you and who understands/acknowledges your own personal interests and desires.

4. Don’t limit your interests too narrowly. While I can’t speak for all disciplines, in history it is important to not limit yourself to a very narrow research interest. Be focused, but be broad in that focus. You’ll appeal to more programs, more professors, and be more marketable as a job candidate later.

5. Don’t assume that you’re going to be accepted. Have a Plan B. When I applied to graduate school as a college senior, I was confident I’d be accepted to a specific program. I wasn’t. I was lucky though, I had another program to fall back on. Graduate school is incredibly competitive and often for the hundreds of applicants that a program receives, only a couple dozen applicants are accepted. Often, that number is even less. Know what you’re going to do if you’re not accepted to where you want to go.

6. Don’t let rejection be the end of the world. Yes, I’ve been rejected before. But, in some ways, those rejections have ended up being good things. I thought, as a senior in undergraduate, that I was ready to apply to PhD programs. I wasn’t. I simply didn’t yet know enough about what I wanted to do. Getting a Master’s degree at my current university was exactly what I needed to do. It gave me time to grow, to focus. It gave me things to add to my CV. It has made me a better applicant this time around — regardless of what the outcome of my applications are.

7. “It’s not who you know, it’s who you get to know.” I majored in Political Science as well as history as an undergrad, and this phrase, care of Chris Matthew’s book Hardball, is one of the most important things I learned. It doesn’t matter what you’re trying to do — grad school, job, etc — but you need to introduce yourself to people. Get to know people — especially those professors, students, and others who are working with you at your university or in your field. They’ll be the ones who write your letters of recommendation, be on your thesis committee, give you advice. They’ll introduce you to their friends and colleagues, who may read your book proposal, offer you a job, award you a grant, etc. It’s a cycle. One you can’t benefit from if you stand silently on the sidelines.

8. So you went to a State School… Don’t. Worry. About. It. Just like I said when you shouldn’t let anyone belittle your decision to go to grad school, so too should you not let anyone criticize the place you received your education. So, you didn’t go to Harvard. Neither did I. I went to a state school and I worked hard. I earned my degree, just like you did, just like everyone else does. Yes. You might not get all the perks that other attendees at “prestigious” schools receive. You’ll have to work harder, longer, and better to prove yourself. You’ll have to show you’re tough, that you can succeed. Remember, others may look down on you. But that’s their loss. Their ignorance. Don’t look down on yourself.

9. Professors are people too, don’t be afraid of them. When applying to grad school, it is very helpful to contact professors that you are interested in studying with. Don’t be afraid to do this. If they don’t respond, don’t be discouraged. But when they do respond, remember you’re talking to a real person. They like to hear you’re interested in their work, but they’re also interested to see that you’re a real person too who is not so involved in their academic interests that they can’t hold a real conversation.

10. Keep your options open. If things don’t go your way, don’t give up. I am a firm believer in the idea that things happen for a reason. There are so many things that you can do with any given degree, whether it’s a Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate, JD, MD, etc. Yes, you are more than welcome to have a dream/preferred job — but don’t rule out opportunities that come your way. Never say never. For example, although I never thought this would be a possibility or something I’d even be interested in, my grad assistantship has provided me with copious amounts of academic publishing experience, which opens a whole other avenue of possible (even if not preferred) career opportunities to me. You never know what might fall into your lap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I believe that the world today is a place where diversity is key. The more things you know, are able to do, are able to say about yourself, are the key to your success.

Don’t rule anything out. Explore opportunities. You don’t know where they might take you.

Embrace rejection. Don’t let it defeat you.

Being realistic is not being defeatist. Being realistic does not mean you don’t dream, hope, and plan.

You just keep reality in the back of your mind. Have a little back-up plan.

Know that you’re worth is defined by more than acceptance rates, standardized test scores, and what others think of you.

Yeah, applying to graduate school is scary as hell. It’s the fear of the unknown. Of someone else holding your fate in their hands.

But don’t worry too much. I’m not.

For right now I’m going to…

Don’t stress too much.

It’s better to have fun.

:-)

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Sources of Inspiration: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

6 Jan

As a freshman honors student in college, I was required to take a one credit hour course dealing with different aspects of the honors program and college life. Truth be told, this course was not the most informative or useful course that I had taken during my four years. Although I often felt like I didn’t get much out of the class, I am thankful to have taken it for one and only reason.

For one of our classes, we were required to watch about an hour long video of a man discussing achieving your childhood dreams. This presentation was part of a lecture series at a university that professors gave based on the question/idea: If you had one last lecture to give, what would you say? As a college freshman, I was skeptical of the assignment and was somewhat doubtful that the video would actually be useful to me. Nevertheless, not wanting to be unprepared for class, I watched the video and was blown away! Not only did the video teach me about achieving your childhood dreams (as the title specified), it taught me about life, loss, and love. I was moved to fits of laughter and bouts of tears as I watched Randy Pausch!

Randy Pausch was a professor of computer science and human-computer interaction and design at Carnegie Mellon University. He seems to be a very accomplished individual and professor, having received tenure earlier than is usually expected. In 2006, Pausch found out that he had pancreatic cancer. Despite the fact that his health improved on and off, he was given a terminal diagnosis in August 2007. Nevertheless, he fought a couraegous battle until his death on July 25, 2008 at the age of 47, leaving his wife to raise their two young children. Seems kind of ironic that he would give a last lecture when he was dying, right? Pausch acknowledges this and approaches the presentation with such liveliness and vigor that you would never guess that he was dying. For Pausch, this truly was a last lecture.

I don’t want to talk a lot about the video because there’s no way I could do it any justice. However, if you have the time, I strongly urge you to watch it. Even if you don’t watch all of it. Even if you watch some today and the rest at a later time. Give the video a chance. Watching this video made me realize that I should be greatful for what I have and that things aren’t as bas as they seem. Pausch puts things into perspective and provides so much hope for us that you can’t help but walk away from this video feeling inspired.

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GAP: I’ll explain later

29 Nov

I met the man of my dreams last night…in my dream.

His name is Josh Groban and I am insanely obsessed with him (as is Joni).

I’ve been a fan of Josh Groban for quite a few years now. I think he’s a fantastic singer and is a very talented musician. (Did you know he can play the drums?!? I didn’t until I saw him in concert twice this summer (as did Joni) and it was AWESOME).

If you have any doubts of his musical ability, just listen to this:

He also has a great sense of humor. Sometimes when I’m feeling sad, I watch this video and it cheers me up:

As I previously mentioned, I saw him in concert twice this concert. I went to the first concert with my family at the beginning of the summer. We were in a massive arena and had pretty good floor seats. We didn’t know what to expect, but needless to say I was blown away enough by the first concert that I HAD to see him again (this time with Joni :) During the concert, Josh was extremely interactive with the crowd. He was also super entertaining and kept the audience wanting more.

One of the coolest parts about the concert was that there was a smaller stage in the middle of the main floor which wasn’t too far from where my family was sitting. Although there was security, enough people were getting out of their seats to take close up pictures of him that I figured, what the hell? So, I sneakily scurried by the security guards to get closer to the smaller stage. I took fabulous pictures (which unfortunately are at my house) then headed back to my seat, but not before I heard someone yell my name. Now-don’t get carried away. It wasn’t Josh shouting for me, it was my mother. Slightly less exciting, but wonderful nevertheless because without her scream, I would have never gotten the chance to touch Josh Groban. Yes, I said it-I touched him. Okay, that sounds awkward. Let me explain.

As I was heading back towards my seat, I heard my mother shout my name. I turned to look at her and just at the right time as well because at that time, Josh was leaving his smaller stage for the main stage and was about to run right past me. Well…there were people in front of my, but there was no way I was missing this chance. So, like anyone would do (or so I like to tell myself), I managed to make to the front of the crowd and put my hand out just in time to give Josh a high five. You would have thought I had won the lottery I was so excited!

So, after Joni and I both seeing this concert with our families, we decided to see splurge and see him again. We had great seats (11th row I believe) and had a great view the whole time. In fact, he made eye contact with us and don’t think I’m crazy. At one point in the concert, he invites a couple up onstage who has been married for a long time. After the opening act, Joni had overheard the couple behind us discussing how long they had been married and informed me of this. We then made it our mission to get them onstage. So, being the loud, obnoxious girls that we sometimes are (no offense), when the point came to recruit this couple, Joni and I were ready. Pretty sure it would have been impossible for him not to have heard us, so he looked at us, saw the couple and voila, they were the couple onstage :) Good work to us if I do say so myself.

So, you’re probably wondering what a GAP is, right? It stands for Grobanite Access Point. It stands for different points where fans may have access to Josh like on the steps to the stage or when he’s going from one stage to the other. Joni and I contemplated trying to get onstage, but to no avail. There’s always next time, though.

I also have an I Love Lucy experience related to this event, but I find it so entertaining that you’ll just to have to stay tuned for this story at a later time :)

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“Be Careful, Or You Might End Up in My Novel”

4 Nov

My fellow Dames and I have been having an informal conversation of late regarding doing groups of themed posts on the blog to keep things organized and interesting. The first theme discussed is the concept of having goals in life, whether short or long term ones. I didn’t originally plan on writing a post on this particular goal tonight, or perhaps even at all, because when I was casually thinking about my goals this one wasn’t brightly flashing in my brain — even though it is a goal of mine and a very important one.

I’m a very introspective person. I literally spend my time in the past, researching and thinking about how people lived, what and how they thought, and why they did the things they did. It’s probably, in a way, why I read so much. Or, maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe I’m a historian because I’ve read so much my entire life — I’ve trained myself to ask those introspective questions. But debating something like that is sort of like asking the question: “What came first? The chicken or the egg?”

My love of reading has always been topically broad — from political thrillers and science fiction mysteries to dramatic love sagas and stories about the bonds of friendship. More recently, though, my readings of choice have gravitated more and more towards historical fiction related titles. Perhaps, then, you could say that my love of reading and my love of history are complimentary and that neither fall into the Latin concept of old that reads “Post hoc, ergo procter hoc” (After it, therefore because of it).

With this devotion in mind, then, it isn’t so far of a leap to understand why my goal is to eventually write a novel. Or two. Or ten. :-)

Seriously though. I’ve had a desire to write a novel for a while, but it’s something that I vacillate back and forth on, never having quite the right idea, enough time, or enough will power to just do it.

But, I think I may finally attempt it.

Because I have all kind of infinite spare time, right? Over the next 6 months my two main necessities are to a) write a Master’s thesis and b)apply and get into Ph.D. programs, so where could a novel possibly fit in? I don’t know either, but, hey, they do say that the busier you are, the more you accomplish.

So why the sudden decision that this would be my goal to write about?

The universe was sending me ideas today. Ideas for that ever elusive novel. As well as further inspiration to actually pursue it.

I think, in a way, that my anxiety and outright fear over writing my thesis and pursuing a Ph.D. has made me, not surprisingly, think about alternatives. Things that I may be able to do if my plans don’t work out the way I want them to. If you know me well, you know I’m all about plans. I’m prepared. I’m the girl who walks around the amusement park or Disney World with a map firmly in hand, because I have to have a plan. And a plan for the plan. And a plan in case plans a and b don’t work. I know, it’s crazy, but I never claimed to be sane.

Back to my point though. This morning while I was getting dressed, I was watching this documentary on PBS about a terrorist attack in India several years ago. The program included interviews with the survivors, who were very candid about the terror and the other more surprising human emotions that they experienced in the time they were held hostage in two besieged Mumbai hotels. (Here’s a link to the program in case you’re interested: Secrets of the Dead – Mumbai Massacre)

The observations these people had about life and death, about risk and bravery, about love and faith, and about hate and forgiveness gave me some wonderful ideas that I plan on exploring very soon.

I recognized that this program, which I hadn’t even seen in its entirety, had started something working in my brain while I was driving to campus. But, being so busy that sometimes I can’t even see straight, I filed the nugget of idea away in my head for perusal later.

But, the universe wasn’t done with me today.

Tonight, on Grey’s Anatomy, Alfre Woodard guest starred as a beloved novelist who needed brain surgery. She refused, however, to consent to the surgery until she finished her latest book. While some may find the story line sappy or may not care at all, and while I didn’t identify wholly with the show’s characterization of her as a novelist, something in it made me stop and really think. Even though my path is directed towards a Ph.D. and a life as a historian, I don’t want to give up the idea that maybe one day I’ll eventually write a novel.

A professor once asked me whether I was “writing the next great American novel yet.” Not yet.

But some day.

So, what do you think about my plans and/or inspiration? What are some of your goals?

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